by Leo Knighton Tallarico
This can be a very difficult time of year for people. Winter Solstice is today December 21. It is when the dark minutes in a day are the greatest. Dark or depressed feelings often go with the darker days
And of course the holiday season is very stressful for many people as there is running around and spending a lot, and for many family dysfunctions seem to get stoked now too.
And this year, unlike other holiday seasons, Venus the planet of heart connections and relationships is going Retrograde on Winter Solstice. This brings relationship issues, relationships of all kinds, to the surface. It will stay Retrograde until January 31.
Additionally this year at this time there is a closely aspected T-square of cardinal planets: Mars in Libra, Uranus in Aries, and Pluto in Capricorn. And if we use a rather wide orb of distance, there is a Cardinal Grand Cross with Jupiter in Cancer added to the mix. This configuration adds much more emotional intensity and when added to the other aspects, can bring emotions and events that feel out of control, and may be pulling you in several directions at the same time.
This Cardinal T-square/Grand Cross will be in operation into summer of 2014, with the climax being in April 2014 when the Grand Cross will be exact while there are 2 eclipses that month also.
But for now as we move through the holiday season and the Solstice, there are some emotional and relationship issues to deal with.
It is best now to be aware that “old” issues may be surfacing back into your awareness and life. They are back because they were never completely resolved. Relationships are always a balance between honoring your needs and someone else’s needs.
Some people go overboard in care taking others, while other people are only thinking of themselves. If you have gotten stuck in a relationship pattern where one person is expected to be the giver, and the other person is expected to be the taker, then something needs to be transformed.
If you are constantly nagging someone to hold up their share of the “bargain”, then that pattern needs to change. If it has turned into a power struggle or a “tug-of war” much of the time, your relationship is way off course.
For any relationship to truly work and be healthy, both people need to “put themselves in the shoes” of the other and truly try to understand where that person is coming from, what makes them tick, what their motivation truly is.
If you are instead always defending your self or always putting the other person on the defensive; or if you are judging their motives without truly listening to them; or if you to martyr yourself with feeling “all I have done for you and look at what you don’t give me”; or if you chronically see the relationship as “me versus you” then there is much inner exploration and improved communication to be done.
Can these dysfunctional and unhealthy patterns be changed? Do you really love one another? Are you locked into dramas you saw your parents in as a child? Are you really right for each other? Do you both really want to work on changing the toxic patterns together? These are important questions to be answered.
In family relationships, are you locked into a family role or identity that is not truly representing who you are? Do you feel accepted and loved for who you authentically are? Are there any family relationships you have tried and tried to make better but never really change? Do you need to stop expecting certain people to change and become who you want them to be? Can you accept that some relationships must be kept on a rather superficial level? Can you build healthy boundaries and truly take care of yourself in these relationships?
Relationships are for a reason: for growth and learning, for nurturance and support, for love and romance, for sex and passion, for experience, for karmic debt or clearance, for business reasons, for security.
But when a relationship is not enriching anymore or purposeful, does not honor you, is disrespectful, is toxic and dysfunctional, is violent and hateful, is repeating the same patterns and dramas over and over again, then it needs to transform or die.
Some people believe that a family or wife/husband relationship must be endured no matter how bad it is. Why? If it has no more soul or spirit, no more purpose, no love or affection, no more lessons to be learned, then why must it continue? If it is a family relationship you feel cannot be avoided, then at least you can keep contact to a minimum, keep dialogue superficial to avoid drama and hurts, and end the need to fix what is wrong.
The power of transformation is huge now. You can make changes you did not feel before were possible. Most all of 2014 will keep these fires of healing and transformation burning. If you are feeling a lot of pain and suffering now, it is time to give up resistance, let go and release, make changes. Old crusty dysfunctional energies and patterns are not your lot in life. If you cannot change the outer circumstances, you can always change your beliefs and attitudes, change your mind and heart.
How you react to what you have been presented with is in your power. How you feel and think about things is always in your power. And once you truly change your thinking and feelings, then it becomes more possible that the Universe and others will also shift, as your energy and the frequency you are operating at will attract a different kind of person and events into your life.
There is a lot of controversy now about the Duck Dynasty and the statements made by their so-called patriarch about gays and African-Americans. Many people are making it about freedom of speech and of course in some ways it is. But to me it is mostly about people who are completely governed by the Old World and a book written hundreds of years ago and open to interpretation.
These bible thumping men do not really think for themselves and do not have empathy for those who are different from them and their tribe. But they are not evil or people to be hated. They do not know it, but evolution is their real enemy.
No one can stop or should stop them, in a free country, from saying what they believe, but they are nothing to worry about. They do represent a sizable chunk of humanity still, but they and their kind will disappear from the Earth one day as Neanderthals did.
Remember that today December 21, 2013 we do begin to turn to more light after the darkest day of the year, and hope can be found now. I hope you find the real meaning of this time of year for you and not the stress and fears.
See you next week,
There will be a New 2014 Astrology Forecast out in January.
There is already a YOUTUBE video autumn 2013 forecast out at https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5xnEaj6JRfI
There is an old YOUTUBE video Astrology Forecasthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6fxVYYIoNA&feature=youtu.be for Spring Eclipse Season. Check it out if you feel so moved.
You can get an astrological consultation with me during these changing times to help you on your path and with your life. Please write firstname.lastname@example.org for more info.
Please feel free to find more writings and my services on my website.
Leo Knighton Tallarico is a full time professional astrologer, spiritual guide, counselor, and writer for over 25 years